Parenting an Art and Life Style

Parenting an Art and Life Style

Every child finds their identity, and confidence in their parents. The value of a child is imputed on the child by the parents. Our children always learn from what they see their parents doing rather than what the parents teach them.

In this Generation we have an Identity, value and moral crisis. This is as a result of a lot of factors, however the chief among them is the failure of parenting.

Parenting can be simply defined as "the process or the state of being a parent". Once you have a child, you are involved in the process of parenting. However, it is not that simple and Morrison defined parenting as "the process of developing and utilizing the knowledge and skills appropriate to planning for, creating, giving birth to, and rearing and/or providing care for offspring". 

This definition implies that parenting starts when there is a plan for it and it involves not just bringing up the children but also providing care for them.

There are several characteristics of parenting. First of all, with the advance of medical knowledge and technology, parenting becomes a choice in life. 

Secondly, being a parent is a life-long commitment.

 Thirdly, it involves responsibilities as parents are responsible to take good care of their children physically as well as psychologically. 

Lastly, parenting involves not just the couple but all the family members since the birth of a child affects the whole family

STYLES OF PARENTING

Neglectful Parenting Styles

Neglectful parenting is one of the most harmful styles of parenting that can be used on a child. Neglectful parenting is unlike the other styles in that parents rarely fluctuate naturally into neglectful parenting as a response to child behavior. 

If a parent recognizes themselves as a neglectful parent, or if a friend recognizes that they may know a neglectful parent, it is important to understand that those parents (and the children involved in the situation) need assistance so that they can get back on track to having a healthy and communicative relationship within the family.

Neglectful parenting is damaging to children, because they have no trust foundation with their parents from which to explore the world. Beyond that, children who have a negative or absent relationship with their parent will have a harder time forming relationships with other people, particularly children their age.

Permissive Parenting Styles

Permissive parenting, also known as indulgent parenting is another potentially harmful style of parenting. These parents are responsive but not demanding. These parents tend to be lenient while trying to avoid confrontation. 

The benefit of this parenting style is that they are usually very nurturing and loving. The negatives, however, outweigh this benefit. Few rules are set for the children of permissive parents, and the rules are inconsistent when they do exist.

This lack of structure causes these children to grow up with little self-discipline and self-control. Some parents adopt this method as an extreme opposite approach to their authoritarian upbringing, while others are simply afraid to do anything that may upset their child.

How to recognize if you are a permissive parent:
· Do you not have set limits or rules for your child? Do you often compromise your rules to accommodate your child’s mood?

· Do you avoid conflict with your child?

· Do you have a willingness to be your child’s best friend rather than their parent?

· Do you often bribe your child to do things with large rewards?

Permissive parenting can have long-term damaging effects. In a study published in the scientific Journal of Early Adolescence, it was found that teens with permissive parents are three times more likely to engage in heavy underage alcohol consumption. This is likely do to their lack of consequences for their behavior.

Other damaging effects of permissive parenting include:
· Insecurity in children from of lack of set boundaries

· Poor social skills, such as sharing, from lack of discipline

· Self-centeredness

· Poor academic success from lack of motivation

· clashing with authority

Authoritative Parenting Styles
Authoritative parenting is widely regarded as the most effective and beneficial parenting style for normal children. Authoritative parents are easy to recognize, as they are marked by the high expectations that they have of their children, but temper these expectations with understanding a support for their children as well.

 This type of parenting creates the healthiest environment for a growing child, and helps to foster a productive relationship between parent and child.

Authoritarian Parenting Styles
Authoritarian parenting, also called strict parenting, is characterized by parents who are demanding but not responsive.

 Authoritarian parents allow for little open dialogue between parent and child and expect children to follow a strict set of rules and expectations. They usually rely on punishment to demand obedience or teach a lesson.

Recognizing your authoritarian style:
Do you have very strict rules that you believe should be followed no matter what?
· Do you often find yourself offering no explanations for the rules other than “Because I said so?”
· Do you give your child few choices and decisions about their own life?
· Do you find yourself utilizing punishment as a means of getting your child to do what you ask?
· Are you reserved in the amount of warmth and nurturing you show your child?

Children of authoritarian parents are prone to having low self-esteem, being fearful or shy, associating obedience with love, having difficulty in social situations, and possibly misbehaving when outside of parental care.

Resources
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/too-permissive-parents?page=3

http://www.the-positive-parenting-centre.com/permissive_parenting_style.html

http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm

http://www.answers.com/topic/parent-child-relationships?cat=health